The killer prius

Earth savior or Earth Killer?

So this is the Toyota Prius, a car with great fuel economy and it is big enough for your family, but is the car really all that good just because it is a hybrid and there are claims that it will save the Earth? Just a small rundown of the Prius is that the battery takes rare earth metals to make, these elements are a probably unknown to some people but it is needed for several of our gadgets. The demand for these metals will see them being shipped out 40,000 tonnes annually and it will mean we will probably run out of these elements, and thus the Prius and the hybrid cousins of this car will effectively kill off the rare earth metals. Sure it sips fuel but it eats the earth metal like a hungry dog. The one element that is short on is neodymium, which is used to make the magnets in the electric motor in the Prius, then terbium and dysprosium are added in smaller amounts to the alloy to preserve neodymium’s magnetic properties at high temperatures, more rare Earth metal used, so is it over? Well…no. Lanthanum, is a major ingredient for hybrid car batteries, so there we go, all that just to make the magnet in the Prius. Jack Lifton, an independent commodities consultant and strategic metals expert, calls the Prius “the biggest user of rare earths of any object in the world.” so this ought to make the eco-freaks think twice before saying the Prius is the savior of the earth. So this is the stats, each electric Prius motor requires 1 kilogram (2.2 lb) of neodymium, and each battery uses 10 to 15 kg (22-33 lb) of lanthanum. That number will nearly double under Toyota’s plans to boost the car’s fuel economy. We will probably end up with no more rare earth metals by the end of 2011 at the rate this is going, because those people who see their idols with a Prius will say “I want a car like (insert celebrity name here).”

So here is a small note for the people who think the Prius is one of the Earth’s saviors, The Prius will kill the earth faster than cow’s fart…that’s saying something.

Car of the day

Audi A5
Engine: varies (3.0L TDI/3.2L V6 etc.)
0-62mph: 5.9 sec (3.0L diesel)
Price (SG): $159,000 – $206,800
Price (UK): £22,940 – £39,595
Top Speed: 155mph
Cool Meter: 75%
Practicality: 70%

You'll hardly be noticed in this...but when you do...you're stylish

It is quite the quality car isn’t it? Like those rich businessmen would drive…and it is actually, this is what I call a businessman’s car, because of it executive styling, its sleek design and best of all, it is quite discreet when you park it there, no one really seems to notice it as it kind of looks just like a car despite the styling. The interior of the car is beautiful as well, it feels extremely expensive and well built. This car doesn’t struggle at turns as well, which is odd, considering that it is quite big. Rear legroom is an issue though but you have a big boot and there is a convertible version out there as well, so you really don’t want people at the back. This is an overall cool car and probably a car that most companies will use for their company cars as well.

Wreck of the day

Dodge Caliber
Engine: 2.0L 4-cylinder 16-valve dual VVT
0-62mph: 11.3 sec
Price (SG): $90,000
Price (UK): £12,280 – £16,355
Top Speed: 155mph
Cool Meter: 0%
Practicality: 60%

an indecisive piece of work

First of all, the spelling is Calibre, and it is not how cars are meant to look, firstly it may look big but it is a hatchback not an SUV, it is a big hatchback that doesn’t feel big inside despite the big boot, which I suppose is this car’s only plus. This car is seriously uncool because it tries too hard to look like an SUV then says it is a hatchback, so to put that into a easier perspective, it is like saying “I look like diamonds but I am actually glass”, not the kind of combination but at least glass can look like diamonds. The handling is also laughable as you have better choices in hatchbacks, Volkswagen Golf comes to mind. So if you see one of these things on the street, laugh at the person driving it, because it is just funny.

Side note:
Happy birthday to the Halloween girl, not sure if you are reading, party was awesome.

Do they ever learn?

Now, there are many things about public transport I despise, things such as irregular time of arrival, slow pace, the people squeezing with you, you get the idea, but what annoys me is that the Public Transport Council is not addressing this problem at all. They recently said that the public transport system has improved…but on what grounds? I still see buses coming super late so it cannot be punctuality, I see trains packed with people so it is definitely not an increased number of more public transports and I still see the prices not going down, so it isn’t the cost either. So how did that “council” (whoever they are) get to the conclusion that we are better off? Maybe if they revealed what they based their evaluation on then we might begin to see something because as of now there isn’t anything to be pleased about. Maybe if they make the assessment criteria a public sort of thing then they might see the error of their ways…oh wait…even if their errors are pointed out they wouldn’t care would they?

Alright moving on, it seems like Volvo will be sold to the China company Geely…would that mean that next time our Volvo’s safety reputation will be tarnished because everything will be make hastily in China? Because to be honest the only reason why I would buy a Volvo is that if I crash, I probably will not be killed, this means I can go home and see my family. So if Geely were to replace the giant front of the car with say…plastic and some unlucky driver were to accidentally swerve his Volvo (takes a lot of effort though), will he get hit and die? I would presume so. If Geely wants to make this a successful take of Volvo, they should stay away from the car production line, put in money and collect them, if just once a little Chinese man goes to the designers and say “I want to cut cost on the new Volvo models!” then that will be the day the company gets destroyed, if you take out the safety of the Volvo, no one would really buy one now would they? It will be like saying buy a Volvo without the safety thing that is probably the main cause of its sales! Yeah…didn’t think that would work. Geely usually creates low end cars so that they can kill humans sell to lower end people and I doubt they will change but if they do buy Volvo, they really should not mix the 2 because one is safe and sturdy the other one is…well…made in China.

Here is an interesting bit of reality check next time someone wants to buy an electric powered car, first of all where does electricity come from? The power plants right? How do the power plants create energy? By burning coal, which emits…bingo! Carbon Dioxide, therefore it is just coming out earlier than before, so I do not think electric cars are the angels who will save us, it will be hydrogen cars which will effectively save the automobile. So if that is the case for the Prius, which uses electricity and of course that petrol engine and causes severe damage to the Earth when it is manufactured, why do people still want to buy one? I presume it is because their favorite movie star owns one and that alone is reason to drive one, but if they want to save the earth why not get something else like a diesel? People sometimes will cause you to go mentally inane by asking “why do they do these things?” Check out this quote I found online:

Pollution from energy sources did $120 billion worth of damage to human health, agriculture and recreation in 2005, said the NRC report, which was requested by the U.S. Congress in 2005 and sponsored by the U.S. Department of the Treasury. Electricity was responsible for more than half of the damage, the report said.

So I ask, why would someone buy a Prius, charge it up and fill it with petrol AND knowing that it causes their precious earth to die as well? It is like a sucker punch from all 3 sides and none of the are an illusion. Sometimes these people are just not convincing with their argument and with that, no one would really listen to them.

Car of the day

Maserati Quattroporte
Engine: 4.2L V8
0-62mph: 5.6 sec
Price (SG): $408,000
Price (UK): £76,752 – £94,880
Top Speed: 167mph
Cool Meter: 80%
Practicality: 60%

A 4 door saloon with a Ferrari heart...instantly cool

First of all the engine is the 4.2L V8 that is derived of Ferrari, which in Italian means ‘cool’…this car is a Saloon with just that. It may not have grade-S comfort but it is pretty decent as in you will feel like driving this, just not for a long period of time. The owner of Fiat and Ferrari, Luca Cordero di Montezemolo, is widely regarded as the coolest man in the world and his driver takes him around in this, so if it is cool for him…well…who are we to judge? Apparently with Maserati being on the rise on quality there really should not be any major trouble with this car except maybe some hardship with the gearbox. This car is a saloon as well so practicality is there and you have a nice, decent boot to fit…whatever you want to put into.

Wreck of the day

Chevrolet Aveo
Engine: 4-cylinder in-line 16-valve DOHC
0-62mph: 12.3 sec
Price (SG): $49,999 – $52,999
Price (UK): £7,590 – £10,535
Top Speed: 110mph
Cool Meter: 20%
Practicality: 50%

Isn't this a Daewoo with a Chevy badge?

First of all I am not a fan of cars being “rebadged” as others like this for example, it is meant to be a Daewoo Kalos but apparently they could not get it to the market because of the Daewoo badge as no one would buy one, this is where Chevrolet come in, they took the car, took off the Daewoo badge and placed a Chevy one on it. Now this car has decent leg room but it has a horrible boot space…around 220 litres to be exact. While its inside is a step up from many Daewoo Chevrolet, it is actually not that impressive, if you compare it to the Ford Focus or the Fiesta. Also when this car turns there is too much lean in it due to the small wheels, so it is like an accident waiting to happen if you have a sharp corner. Also it is not that practical for daily use, there isn’t much boot space and there is only basic safety equipment. The rivals for this hatch know how to use their space better. I would rather get a Fiesta or a Jazz as compared to this…or a Mazda2…this should be an alternative only to walking.

All the dreams

No rant today (gasp!) but I want to talk about cars that I have always dreamed about, in my sleep or even when walking along a busy shopping area, these are the things that you always want and what keeps you working day in and out, of course with the family being the highest priority. These are the cars that I will probably never review because I am probably not fit to judge these as I will get extremely biased. So lets start shall we?

Audi R8
Engine: 4.2L V8 / 5.2L V10
0-62mph: 4.2 sec / 3.9 sec
Price (SG): $451,000
Price (UK): £76,385 – £103,645
Top Speed: 187mph  /198mph
Cool Meter: 85%
Practicality: 80%

The best thing Audi has made since the original Quattro

The thing is a beauty, look at all the design of the car is not one of the supercars you drive out once every 2 months, it is actually a car that you can drive out everyday, this has one of the best handling because of the 4WD. It is one of the most complete cars ever, with the V10 version out as well it has the mix of extreme power and handling, if the track in Singapore is ever made, this will be the car to drive. Also it has alot of headroom for such a low car, it is quite a wonderful car to behold and you have quite a decent boot at the front. It is not that loud as well when you go flat out (not that you will actually go that fast) It is the one car you would buy if you want a supercar you can use daily, because originally the choice ever since Honda stopped the production of the NSX (which was a pity) and the Porsche 911 became the default supercar that you can drive everyday because you can see out of it unlike most supercars, in the Audi is a great car if you can spare the cash just to drive this wonderful piece of machinary.

Ferrari 599
Engine: 6.0L V12
0-62mph: 3.7 sec
Price (SG): $1,150,000
Price (UK): £196,950 – £201,950
Top Speed: 205mph
Cool Meter: 100%
Practicality: 50%

It is like the hottest girls in the same room...with a V12 engine

First of all, it is a Ferrari, it makes it automatically cool although it is not really beautiful compared the other Ferraris like the Enzo or the 612 Scaglietti which are both really beautiful. Although with this car you will need to have balls made of carbonfiber and a heart of stone to park this a the side of the road, because it is almost guarenteed that it will be scratched…and badly. God it is fast as well…it will go from 0-100mph in just over 7 seconds and the sound of the V12 is one of the sounds you need to hear in your life before you die. It is kinda like bungee jumping.  The ride inside is beautifully made as well. Inside the gearbox is a semi auto where you touch the flappy paddles and it engages the clutch, shifts up and disengages it very quickly and there are LED lights on the steering wheel to tell you when to change gears. If you are even given the chance to drive it even for a few minutes you have to, it is an absolute must. Although it is not the Ferrari I want, I would want the new 458 Italia…that is a really wicked car.

No reason why you wouldn't want one

Aston Martin DB9
Engine: 6.0L V12
0-62mph: 4.7 sec
Price (SG): $706,000 – $750,000
Price (UK): £113,950 – £128,653
Top Speed: 187mph
Cool Meter: 90%
Practicality: 45%

It would make a geek look like coolest person ever

This is one of the wonders of the world because it is just a cool car that nobody should not want, it would make a nerd with buck teeth and super thick glasses attract the most beautiful woman ever. When you start it up the V12 will sound like you are already speeding like a madman, start this up next to a cop car and he will book you for speeding. Well you might have only 2 seats and you will not bring this anywhere but to do some cruising or to a reception it will draw all the attention to it. There downside? Well you will end up in the petrol station almost everywhere, because this thing drinks fuel like it was sports drink during a football match. So if you have to ask, is it good? Yes…it is very good and it is very cool.

Maserati GranTurismo
Engine: 4.2L V8
0-62mph: 5.2 sec
Price (SG): $428,000
Price (UK): £78,150
Top Speed: 177mph
Cool Meter: 95%
Practicality: 70%

If this car looks any better, I would sleep with it

It is one of the most comfortable Maserati in the mortal world and it has nice seats and accurate steering. It is fast, not extreme fast but it is normally fast and it looks like one of the most beautiful car ever. This car is super cool, like if you stab yourself with a liquid nitrogen pipe and completely fill yourself up, you will be as cool as this car. Guess what though, there is a 30gb hard drive inside with a awesome sat nav, like you really want to listen to it. 4 people can go into it and get out of it happily although head room for the back is a issue but it is nothing that will prevent you from stepping inside. I am quite a fan of 4 door cars rather than 2 doors with back seats but this one is like placing the cherry on the cake, and why not? The thing that ruins the style of this car is the license plate at the front, because the front is so beautiful and the license plate is just making the car look ugly.

Lamborghini Reventón
Engine: 6.5L V12
0-62mph: 3.5 sec
Price (SG): Not available
Price (UK): £800,000+ (sold out)
Top Speed: 210mph
Cool Meter: 100%
Practicality: 50%

It is like having the girl of your dreams...it entices you by looks

This is one of the most awe inspiring car I have ever seen in my life, the Lamborghini Reventón (pronouced Reh-ben-ton) is the car that is based off the F22 Raptor plane that is being used by the US Air Force and it is just full of things you want, like LED brake lights, the scissor door, the giant fans at the radiator behind the car to cool the engine, the carbon fiber rims is shaped like a giant fan as well to suck in cold air and cool the brakes so that they don’t overheat, even the fuel filler cap! If I had that on my car I would go ballistic. The inside of the car has the dash with a thin film transistor LCD  which is like your HD television set. The options there are car mode, where it is a normal dash or AIRCRAFT SETTING! Where they show you things like the balance of your car to the ground etc etc. It is a truely amazing thing and this is what Lamborghini need to do…make more of cars like thsese because while modifications to the Gallardo and the (soon-to-be-extinct) Murc, they need to capture the public’s hearts with a car like this and even though I know I will never own one because only 20 are made and they are all sold out, at least I am assured that Lamborghini have not lost thier touch in the creativity department. This, therefore, is the car of my dreams.

It happens again

People are still going to drive regardless

Well now look at that…our wonderful government believes that they should increase the prices of 3 ERP gantries by 50-100%! Wow…you wonder why we are living in one of the most expensive places in the world. Honestly what does this government have on us that could tempt locals to stay? Singapore is a disaster-free area? Living under this government is already a 24/7 disaster and they are causing one hell of a big one just because people want to drive. It is already crazy expensive to own a car and it is insane to pay for the taxes and the petrol. Also apparently the Transport Minister aka crackhead is on about wanting to make 70% of people take public transport by 2020, I say good luck with that because that isn’t going to happen. That means over 25% of people will have to trade up their cars for public transport which is really weird, I mean if you already have a car why would you not use it and take public transport? Are they going to have a slogan like “don’t need to be on time or anywhere near where you want to get?” or something along that lines because drivers will feel that way. It is kind of a sad attempt now really. People will find that driving will get them to where they are and quickly. This will not work I guarentee it. There more you want to stop the people from doing something with these small things going around the reaction is already quite big and imagine if they say something like COE will increase by 100%, they are going to have a strike and I would estimate 2million Singaporeans will say ‘good bye Singapore and  sod off government”. Seriously I would leave this country at the first chance given to me, be it driving away, taking a plane or a boat, when I decide that enough is enough I would suspect that Singapore will lose more than 1 family and population will decrease and then they will throw out baby funds to ask people to have more babies, I would suspect that that baby fund will not be enough to cover the powdered milk that babies drink, so it is like saying “we pay for your babies’ food for 4 years and after that, you are on your own as we have what we want.” Great…not only is our transport minister an imbecile, the whole government is as well, we are better off with several monkeys with typewriters at their desks…hang on…that is what we currently have already…wombles…

Anyways today I read that Malaysian cars are had an increase in sales according to a study and they credit they say that it is because of cars being better built…if they wanted to tell a joke could they at least tell a funny one? Because I am not laughing, I do question these people who buy a Perodua Myvi to a Honda Civic because they must have no brain at all to even consider the Myvi a car, because it isn’t.  Up next is the Proton Savvy and the Perodua viva….all which are literally shoe boxes with an engine and half of the cylinders not working. Are people really satisfied with a car with an interior looking only slightly better than a public toilet in a coffee shop? Because that is what they are saying when they buy the Myvi… with $48,999 – $50,999 being the cost of a Myvi, I would rather buy a Suzuki Swift because it is just better. These people are not seriously suggesting that the Myvi is better than the Swift are they? You can even buy a Lancer for that price…just stating the possible options for the smart human being. So the claim that they are better built is like saying your door will not fall off for over a month! or your windscreen wiper will work for at least 5 days now! Really now apart for being a wreck before and a wreck now, I do not see the charm in owning a Perodua or a Proton as much as I see in owning a Rolex that is made in China. To them cars may be just tools to use but to some it may be an escape, a heart starter to stir your emotions.

Oh yeah, congratulations to Mr. Anthony Chan for his (reported post) as BMW dealer for the M models in Singapore, apparently people from BMW have been seen at a showroom that was occupied by Fiat and Proton previously. So it would mean that Performance Motors who was the previous dealers for the Beemers are now going to get a giant kick in the nuts. So I wish Mr. Chan good luck and if he does bring the M5 to Singapore, I would love to have one at a lower price than what Performance is giving, $448,800.

Car of the day

BMW M5
Engine: 5.0L V10
0-62mph: 4.7 sec
Price (SG): $448,800
Price (UK): £61,760 – £65,000
Top Speed: 155mph (restricted from 205mph)
Cool Meter: 80%
Practicality: 75%

Comfort or Speed at the push of a button

Well there is absolutely no reason to not love this car, the engine, a 5.0L V10 is already enough to send chills down anyone’s spine. Can you imagine how cool it would be if you go to someone and say I’ve got a 5.0L V10 in my Beemer, they will go ZOMGWTFHAX because that is what this beemer is, a car that is fast and comfortable and practical. The thing is full of buttons and if you press the comfort one, it will be hard to tell that this is a car that is really fast because it will be so smooth it is like sitting on a couch. This is just cool without even trying to as well, say the M3 is a backally brawler, rough but cool nontheless, the M5 will be the gentleman who knows how to fight and beats the crap out of him. Inside is no slouch too, the M5 is one of BMW’s mainstream cars and the quality shows it, almost everything looks like it is hand made. A car of its size can turn corners really well as well so it is well worth it in the handling district. Being a saloon car as well it has a nice boot space and pleanty of room for human beings to go into, so it is usable.

Wreck of the day

Peugeot 308 CC
Engine: 4-cylinder in-line 16-valve twin-scroll turbocharged
0-62mph: 10.2 sec
Price (SG): $136,900
Price (UK): £18,662 – £24,932
Top Speed: 127mph
Cool Meter: 20%
Practicality: 10%

a car for a person who wants to show off...and fails doing so

There is a thing about this car that just says no to you, sure it is a convertible and it looks like it could mix in with the other really good looking cars but trust me, it isn’t. A pretty girl might see this and be impressed…barely, if the driver is lucky but other than that why would you want a car with an automatic folding roof that takes 23 sec to put up when your car will be half filled with water by the 10th? I am looking a the online advert and its motto is “Live now. Because tomorrow won’t wait” and I have to wonder, if you are driving in this you cannot seriously believe you are living…because you would stop by a street and people will be probably be looking at the Fiat 500 parked next to you as compared to your Peugeot. The finishing of the inside of the car is the main difference, it is very well done, the knobs and everything but if your legs are long enough to reach the pedals you will realize they are in a horrid position. This is one of the cars that looks like a 4-seater but isn’t, because if you have people sitting in the back the people in front will have to move up…move up to where? Also with the folding roof down the boot is surprisingly pleasing but with that metal scaffolding at the back folded inside you are literally trying to see if your stuff can fit in…like a box into the letterbox. If you are going to send anyone to the airport, tell them to empty their suitcase into your boot and drive them there because the luggage won’t go into the boot.

 

SIDE NOTE: I HAVE UPDATED ALL MY OLD PAGES WITH COOL METER AND PRACTICALITY FOR OTHER CARS!

$48,999 – $50,999

Muscle cars and transport ministers

The Camaro isn't a car it is a movie star

I was never a fan of American cars, things like the Dodge Viper, the Corvette, the Camaro and the Mustang, all are very nice to watch but always not very nice to drive with stiff suspension and terrible steering which will mean you are in for a rough ride, it wouldn’t be a problem occasionally as you are not going extremely fast. The only great American car in my opinion is the Corvette Z06  and they are not sold in Singapore…reason? I don’t know, I mean people can afford a Zonda and Gallardos in Singapore so why not a Corvette? I feel that the traditional muscle car like those you see in movies not a car at all, it is instead a character of a movie, remember Transformers when the Camaro appeared as Bumblebee? Now it is not a good car by any means but it is one of General Motor’s top selling cars, because it turns into a giant robot in a 2007 movie (which I enjoyed by the way) and then there is that Fast and Furious series which I detest because of their portrayal of cars, but they push the sales for the specific cars they produce which got me thinking, if General Motors are so caught up on designing a car for Micheal Bay to portray on screen do they have the time to actually make a good car? I mean not by looking good on the telly or in the movies because American muscle car look good but just don’t perform well. I would say that if GM can continue what they are doing as long as they earn money I don’t think they will really capture the hearts of true car fans, they just aim at people who look at a nicely covered box with an engine and 4 wheels and say yes…it is car. I would rather not have a Camaro if I had a choice, I would even go as far as to say I would rather have a an M5 compared to that…in fact the M5 is really the better car.

On a positive note the apparently the Public Transport shares have dipped from 63% in 2004 to 59% now, which means that quite abit of people have taken interest in cars, given that if I can influence more people they might just drop to below 40%…which will make me way happy. However our Transport Minister, a cock, would love to see the tides turn against the car which leaves me in fear because all the taxes on cars will probably increase just because this guy doesn’t like how things are going. Also the minister say that by 2020 our public transport will be equal to London’s and New York…but with that wouldn’t it mean we will have extra jams caused by buses because, to be honest the bus doesn’t go very fast and I would like to see what will happen if you have a bus lane on almost every road because it is going to be so hateful I think the government would explode. Oh yeah…I have a small quote from our dictator…I mean minister

He also added: “As we expanded Electronic Road Pricing to more roads last year, the traffic conditions of these roads have improved correspondingly.”

That guy has his own head so far up his ass he cannot see the jams on the minor roads, he is saying that there are more ERPs and the people are more unhappy that they cannot drive, so lets see, people are unhappy and the government is earning money from them…sounds like a dictatorship to me…I would go as far as to say they are a 3rd world dictator…those imbeciles.

Two strategies have been identified to increase the number of people taking public transportation: 1) investing in rail network and; 2) reducing vehicle growth rate,  Singapore’s Transport Minister Raymond Lim said in his opening speech for the second World Roads conference.

Another quote here and I understand that you need to invest in the rail network…because people need to take the train to get to places but what the bloody hell is with the 2nd part? Reduce vehicle growth rate? That is like saying in a school you want to reduce printing paper because too many students are doing their homework. I am going to stick my own head out of the window and into open fire and say that this transport minister should just get lost and let motorist roam free, I think if someone wants to drive a car, who are these wombles to prevent us from doing what we love by restricting it? So…here’s my message to Mr. Raymond Lim:

Go Fuck yourself and stop with your public transport plea, don’t you think there is enough already? You don’t see people complaining about there being to many buses or bus drivers complaining there are too many cars…in fact besides your little Nazi group, I don’t see anyone complaining about there being too many cars…so Mr. Lim if you are reading and you probably aren’t; leave us alone you womble.

Car of the day

Volkswagen Scirocco
Engine: 2.0L 4-cylinder 16-valve turbocharged FSI
0-62mph: 7.1 sec
Price (SG): $100,000 – $126,000
Price (UK): £17,700 – £22,385 [just to show how inflated our prices are]
Top Speed: 145mph
*NEW* Cool meter: 90%
*NEW* Practicality: 70%

It is like a pretty girl that is smart as well...she just is perfect

With the Scirocco, in Singapore costing less than $130,000 it is for me an alternative to the Ford Mondeo if I have that wee bit of extra cash because I think it is a stunning looking car, better styled than the Mondeo and it is very comfortable with wonderful seats and a non-bumpy ride. Also there is something about this car that pulls people in…maybe it is because when you turn up in school or at work in a Scirocco and people look at it you can ask “What do you think of my turbo?”…the word turbo just is cool…it just is. Quality of the car is good, inside you will find parts from old VWs and it isn’t really a problem isn’t it? Because at least you know this and that works. The Scirocco has very accurate steering as well which means it can almost be a competition to the Golf GTI, in its own way. This car is in the mid range of my practicality list because it only has 4 seats unlike the usual 5 and the boot is big but the hatchback isn’t, so it is a good car to take your girlfriend out in.

Wreck of the day

Toyota Prius
Engine: 4-cylinders in-line DOHC VVT-i / Electric motor
0-62mph: 10.2 sec
Price (SG): $96,000
Price (UK): £17,232 – £22,037
Top Speed: unknown (?)
Cool meter: -100%
Practicality: 80%

easily the most hated car in the world by motor enthusiast

I was doing some reaserch on this car and it apparently there are people offering this car for hire, apprently their slogan is “People so mental and blind you can’t see what you are doing”. This car is the pinicle of uncool, even the beetle is cooler than this…and that is saying something because the beetle is waaaaaay down the cool list. This is a Hollywood car because according to Jay Leno, it is a car that celebrities drive as a fashion statment saying “I drive an ugly car and it is OK because I am saving the planet.” I mean sure it doesn’t cost much to run but did you know that the process of building this car is more damaging to the earth than say, a Hummer H3 or a Land Rover discovery? Bet that is news to you. Good things about this car is there is at least a petrol engine inside so you can go around at night with your headlamps on and there is a big boot for a 5 door hatch which makes it real practical. It will cost less to maintain this car as well but lets face it, these little things doesn’t make up for the uncoolness of this car…if you are seen getting out of one, you are an idiot.

please kill electric cars off permanently

is it green? yes...it is

Well look what we have here, it would be my choice of a green car! A car that does barely 8mpg and goes as fast as lightning and sounds like the devil of hell, sounds about right for me, in your face Greenpeace assholes! No I am not going to go around insulting people who think the earth’s biggest problems are people not recycling aluminum cans and plastic bags. I don’t deny global warming exists but I stand firm that humans aren’t the main cause of it. They all look at that green Lamborghini as if it is the spawn of the devil but to me it is just a bull that wants attention.

Now I would like to stray off cars but still sticking to the government, first of all the government wants to keep the hospitality aspect of our country to be on the rise but lets face it, when you say you want to go on a holiday you won’t even know where Singapore is if you are staying in, say Italy…if I stayed in Italy I would rather go to a mall than come here, it looks way better and there is less scaffolding. I once asked a friend online “would you like to come to Singapore some day?” and he replied “Singapore? That’s part of China isn’t it?” Clearly the tourism industry isn’t doing much to it. I know friends working in industry of gaming and I did a search on the game companies in Singapore, there are local ones where you will starve within a few days of working because they can’t pay you, and there is EA and Ubisoft…that is 2 companies that the whole country is trying to get into. The government says they want to get the gaming industry up and running…so besides these 2 why not get others to come as well? Sometimes the government baffles me, they say they want to help and go do something else…oh wait…that doesn’t baffle me at all…I have been living with that bullshit all my life.

Now something for the “enviro-mentalists“, I am not against cars that run on hydrogen because they will still be as fast as a normal car, take that new Honda, the FCX Clarity, a car that runs solely on hydrogen and emits water or by the battery, now if I owned one (which I probably will) I can use my Audi or Lambo during the weekday and for the weekend, I can drive the family around in the Clarity, it sounds brilliant as a whole! As I am sure you are aware I suspect Greenpeace protesters are aliens that want to take over the earth and I just saw one of my buddies do 15mph on his mountain bike which is fast…compared to walking. Then I went on the internet and found out that the electric car in the UK called the G-Wiz which moves for only 80km/50miles for an 8 hour charge and the G-Wiz will struggle to reach 10mph which is to be honest, not even bicycle speed. So to buy a car like that you must say “I am cynically insane and want a car slower than how I can walk!” because if you have a car that only runs on a pathetic battery you cannot turn on the radio, the air-con the headlights or the windscreen wiper because you cannot turn any of those on without causing the entire car to stop moving within 10mins. It is just utterly worthless to look at and if you crash the acid in the battery will cause your face to melt off…seriously there is acid in the battery of the car.

Car of the day

Ford Mondeo
Engine: 2.3L 16-valve straight 6
0-62mph: 10.2 sec
Price (SG): $96,999 – $96,999
Price (UK): £15,445 – £27,200
Top Speed: 129mph
Cool Meter: 50%
Practicality: 80%

I believe it is one of the best in the world

Honestly Mondeos used to be uncool to me…but then again almost all Ford cars were uncool to me…until this one. The new Ford Mondeo is brilliant. It is easily to most comfortable car to drive in and it is no slouch in the speed department either but to be honest the name Mondeo kinda stains this car’s image because the old Mondeo was rubbish, I think it will sell better if it was called the Ford Tyrannosaurus…yeah…how many people would buy a car like that? It does handle well despite being a big car there it can turn well without causing much lean or causing you to roll on the floor.  It is also practical due to its size, you can bring your family around, go shopping and can buy half of the store before your Mondeo is filled…your only real problem is a place where you have to parallel park. Compared to the rivals the Ford Mondeo is really worth it and to be honest, a first team pick for me.

Wreck of the day

Alfa Romeo Spider
Engine: 3.2L V6
0-62mph: 7 sec
Price (SG): $175,800 – $205,800
Price (UK): £24,679 – £32,959
Top Speed: 149mph
Cool Meter: 95%
Practicality: 30%

I love Alfas to hell...this one might send me there

First of all Alfa Romeos are quite easily the most beautiful cars in the world but like they say, beauty is only skin deep and as much as I like the looks of it but because I car about my family too much I would not drive this because I will end up crashing in a small curb with a big accident and a fireball. This car is bought by people whose priority list when buying a car looks like this: 1) Looks 2) handling…and handling being a very far 2nd…really far…like…in racing terms…1 lap away. The engine is wonderful though, a 3.2L V6 which will make quite a nice noise but only nice, not mind blowing. It is not very practical but for a convertible it has a decent boot space. There isn’t really much running cost in this as well, if you want a convertible to look good and will not kill you, I would suggest the Audi TT roadster or the Mercedes-Benz SLK.

Greenpeace and eco cars

even Richard Hammond says you are one

See the thing is about these so called ‘environmentalist’ and their constant rallying about why CO2 is bad and how it is killing the earth and blah blah blah, you see the thing with CO2 is that it doesn’t kill the earth! It reduces the Ozone layer, which to be honest is something the earth CAN do without and instead it leaves the earth as a giant water world and to be honest I don’t think the earth really gives a damn if it is full of water or if it has some dry land on it. No, these so called “save the world” cronies are more or less “save ourselves” so why can’t people tell it as it is? Why beat around the bush and say the earth is in danger from global warming? Because I don’t think the earth gives a damn about global warming, because getting rid of the ozone layer is kinda like taking the clothes off the earth, now it is just getting a tan. Honestly these Greenpeace assholes get so much up my nerves, well I wonder how they are going to get to work everyday when they want to get rid of cars, what will you ride? A cow? Well with that you will end up with a worst carbon emission than a Land Rover. Really…because the cow’s farts will cause the world to heat up and plants cannot use them, on the other hand our cars produce CO2 to get flowers to breathe! So these people want to live in a cold world with no transportation that doesn’t smell like manure and/or cannot go very fast and they don’t want any flowers because the CO2 we breathe out is hardly enough to keep green grass and trees alive so we will end up with people not going very fast, feeling very cold and have lesser oxygen to inhale. If these cocks have their way and do get rid of the cars as an entity, they will end up dying and getting the human race extinct, because they will report in the news “WE LACK OXYGEN!” because now you don’t see that news everywhere where people will say help! THERE IS TOO MUCH OXYGEN IN THE WORLD! because there isn’t. At the moment, we have enough oxygen and why? Because the cars in the world produce CO2 and the plants in the world take in the CO2 and give us oxygen.

I have an idea why these Greenpeace people want to get rid of cars, so they can have a giant bicycle lane where, lets be honest, not everyone is interested in…more like 1% of the world. So what will you do with all that petrol in the world? Drink it? What they want is a place to live in for themselves, because they are selfish, they want an ideal place for themselves to live in, so they are building a world where only THEY like, so what they are saying is “We don’t like the world as it is and so shouldn’t you!”…why? I like the world with cars driving around, so they say “you have to like what we like” so maybe we should start a campaign where we go around and drive Land Rovers, Lamborghinis and Ferraris everyday because it helps the world! It gives us oxygen!

Car of the day

Honda Jazz
Engine: 1.5L/1.3L I4 VTEC
0-62mph: 11.5 sec
Price (SG): $68,100 – $81,000
Price (UK): £8,224 – £13,160
Top Speed: 113mph
Cool Meter: 50%
Practicality: 80%

It is a simple practical car

We start with the flaws, the thing is you will not look cool in this unless you are working in the retirement home and have no friends so that no one sees you but old people. Effectively only the old people will like this car…they just do. The car is made with several high quality stuff inside, sure it is no Aston but it has a very nice dash. It isn’t loud and since the fuel tank is somewhere in front, you have an enormous boot, adjusting the rear seats to give you the prefect boot to seat ratio which is very smart. This is also a very cheap car to maintain and being a Honda, it won’t give you too much problems as well. Also it is quite good to drive but it is not brilliant, good, just good.

Wreck of the day

Volkswagen Beetle
Engine: 1.6L Straight 4
0-62mph: 11.6 sec
Price (SG): $81,800
Price (UK): £10,892 – £15,664
Top Speed: 108mph
Cool Meter: 20%
Practicality: 30%

no...just never

This is the uncoolest car in the world…if you resisted putting Herbie stripes on it you will be…1% cool…with Herbie strips you will dip under -50% because you will look like an idiot. The styling department fails so badly I would even feel some sympathy for them. Drive this fast as well and you are going to crash, because slowly it handles like a charm but quickly you will get yourself killed. Being a backseat passenger you will hit your head on the dipping roof, you will want to sit on the front…which means…you have to be seen driving it. It is pathetic as a practical car as…well because not one, you will not take this car shopping or anything unless you are buying some peas and peas alone. So if you want to be uncool get a Beetle, because if I want a Volkswagen badge…I would get a Golf GTI or a Scirocco.

Recap:
Greenpeace sucks and want to control the earth…they are probably aliens
CO2 emission is good!
Honda Jazz is practical
Volkswagen Beetle is the worst car in the world

Why I would rather be somewhere else

A pity that only 0.00001% of Singaporeans will ever experience this

I don’t like the laws of driving in this country and neither should ANYONE, because there is a certain line between sensible tax and just plain extortion. The people who handles this already crossed it…and continued on and on. Look at the other sensible motoring country where you can get a car, and a good one I might add, for under $10,000 and over here, $10,000 will give you scrap metal…maybe an old exhaust pipe if you are lucky. We are also plagued by tax to own a car, like most countries, how else would the government get money other then the other taxes they force on us already? I do not know why people looked at the LTA schemes and say “yes these are the people who I want to entrust my transport with!” because I don’t. Regardless, if we stay here we will never know the joy of owning a supercar like a Lamborghini or a Porsche because the government are twats. The cost for a normal Gallardo in the UK, I found, cheapest, used and only done 1 mile is £9990, nope your eyes didn’t deceive you, it is really £9990, whereas here for a used Gallardo it is a hefty $440,000, which is around £192,101…for that you can get 20 Gallardos in the UK for 1 here and a Gallardo in the UK can get you…maybe just the bloody doors here. Every kid who grew up admiring cars will see the harsh truth when they buy their first car and realize that the best they can get is a Honda Civic from the 80s and I don’t blame them, look at the categories for cars right now and I can imagine the young boy as he grew up wanting something like a Coupe and the cheapest at the moment is a BMW 320i and it costs $26,000…say the guy just got his drivers license and he wants to get a car, he gets the BMW and he looks at the road tax the insurance and all the shit he has to pay and then he realizes he is actually in a shitbox that needs craploads of repairs. You can go to the UK and get a 1996 Vauxhall Tigra for £250 and after repairs and getting the MOT you’ll still pay less than what you paid for the BMW. Sure the UK has those speed cameras and bus lanes but a coupe for that price is worth it…even if it is a Vauxhall. Let me just give you an idea what $26,000 can buy in the UK, it is about £11,376 , you can buy a Ford Focus 1.6, a Mazda MX-5 (a convertible!), Mazda RX8, Ford Mondeo, a Jaguar S-type with a 4.2L V8 (!) and the list goes on and on and that is just for used cars alone, for a new car you can already buy a Fiat Panda for under £5,000 and a Ford Fiesta for £10,000. It really is pathetic to see that the prices here are overkill.

Oh yeah…remember the price of the Lamborghini Gallardo in Singapore? $440,000? Which is around £190,000 In Britain it it will get you a Bentley Azure, an Audi R8 or a Ferrari F430 Spider for £100,000 as well, leaving you £90,000 for insurance which you will definitely get. Hell…that amount will get you a bungalow in the UK AND your car and in Singapore guess what type of house you will get? at the most 4 room apartment with people living next to your wall. That for $440,000 is just wrong…I am surprised people still live here to be honest.

Car of the day

Honda Civic Type-R
Engine: 2.0L DOCH i-VTEC
0-62mph: 7 sec
Price (SG):$99,400
Price (UK): unknown
Top Speed: 144mph
Cool Meter: 70%
Practicality: 70%

Like the Civic, but alot more

Look at the car for 5 seconds and tell me it doesn’t look fast, because it just does. It looks like it can cut through wind and it is all sleeky and stuff and it is a cool car, and why shouldn’t it be? It is a Honda so it is very reliable, as though it was built in mars and beamed down for us, the design is just out of this world (see what I did there?). It handles beautifully as well though the downside is that with only 2 doors you might find getting to the back a pain and the roof is at an angle downwards so there might be some headroom issues for the back passengers, but as with the Civic, it has a nice boot to exploit. What really makes me look at this car is how many triangles there are, even the exhaust is a triangular shape thing…it is brilliant! The insurance company isn’t going to like it either, when you call up and say you would like to have your Honda Civic insured, they will be quoting an already unreasonable sum but when you add the word “Type-R” behind, it immediatly changes from unreasonable to just play F*cked up. So I say this is the car to compare with the Golf GTI and quite frankly, it will hold its own.

Wreck of the day

Kia Picanto
Engine: 1.1L 4-cylinder in-line
0-62mph: 15.1 sec
Price (SG): $41,999 – $44,999
Price (UK): £5,405 – £7,755
Top Speed: 96mph
Cool Meter: 10%
Practicality: -10%

Pee-cunt-tow as I call it

If you have a handkercheif you wouldn’t need a tissue pack with you all the time, this is what the Kia Picanto is, it is effectively tissue paper, something you could take around but if you have anything even a little better you would not want to take it out. Honestly the top speed of 96mph is not even achievable and it takes very long to get to 60mph, if your other choice of transport includes a cab to where you work it will be better than driving this, this is only better than walking…seriously, because this car isn’t cool, if you are seen getting out in one of these people will laugh at you. They just will. Basically this is quite a cheap car but unlike other cheap cars, this doesn’t even try to not look cheap, interior is rubbish and the handling isn’t very good either, it would likely cause you to crash then go around a corner. It does have a puny boot as well but if you fold the seats…the boot is still quite small. Overall this is the most basic of an item you can get, it is like the trash bag to the dustbin.

Recap:

Singapore car market is pathetically overpriced
UK Car market is super attractive
Work here and get the F*ck out of here if you are a petrolhead
Honda Civic Type-R is all you can ever want in a car
Kia pee-cunt-tow is the basic of the basic

governed by cocks

The days when we were a sensible country, modest and doing trade and not worrying about what others think of us, we were just in the background of the world, now though it seems that the government wants attention for absolutely everything, even things that don’t concern them. I really believe that their theme should be “Singapore: rising business” because I feel that is what they see it as. A business. Nothing more. Quite frankly when they say that they had to build on their hospitality and asking people to come to Singapore for a holiday it is like saying “no, don’t go to Paris, come to Singapore where the roads are always crowded, people are rude, you have to pay extra for nearly everything and there is nothing to see but a giant Farris-wheel and a small unfinished casino!” I am sure that would be attractive. Lets face it, not many people are in the hospitality industry and when you bring things like the Formula One race to Singapore, it is going to cause others grief just while they close the roads for 5 days and count their money. If you are going to have a race, why have it in a place where many people go? Why not the shipyard where less people go and then people will find out that this place actually existed. Who is to say they won’t start a bicycle race in the heart of the country and close the roads again? Also unopened casino, I am sure the last place people think of when they want to go to a casino is Singapore. Seriously.

All for the world's eyes for 3 days before they forget you

The example of a jam is very simple, filter all the cars to that single side, then split them up into the different lanes and when people get off work and drive home, this is what they get. Still it could be worst…there could be a slow accelerating bus in front of you causing you to wait for the next light before going and then ending up in another jam. I would suspect that even if they close the roads for buses alone there is going to be a shitload of human traffic making their way to  their own deaths public transport before realizing that they WILL definitely be late when they reach home. The realization that they are wrong will probably mean that us as citizens will be better off and why not? After all they run the country, our comfort should be their first priority…or is it? Lets not start with how over priced everything is first, lets only stick with cars. You know about the Electronic Road Pricks (ERP) and how it blatantly disrupts traffic flow during peak hours but the thing that irks me the most is not paying to drive on a road during peak hours, I would gladly do so, it is just that on the way there if I happen to make a wrong turn I will end up behind what will be a irritating jam. The other thing is the Certificate of Entitlement (COE) they are there to reduce cars on the roads, as if the import fee isn’t doing that already, you have to bid for the rights to own a car for 10 years…that, for me is just stupid. If I have a license and I have the money, I should be able to buy a car if the dealer is selling it to me and for those who do not live in singapore I here is the fee if I want a normal Fiat 500. Ready? To own a Fiat 500 I will need to buy the car first, say I want the normal 1.2L automatic, it will cost me  $85,900 here while int he UK it will cost £9,300 or $21,518…sounds like quite the difference eh? So to buy your Fiat you’ll need to pay the COE which is for a 1200cc car, a category A…which cost as of now $5,116 so effectively you are paying over $90,000 excluding yearly road tax, insurance, petrol prices and the fines you will eventually pick up.

Car of the day:

Fiat Cinquecento 500
Engine:
0-62mph: 12.9 sec
Price (SG): $85,900 – $95,900
Price (UK): £7,780 – £14,015
Top Speed: 113mph
Cool Meter: 75%
Practicality: 50%

A small car that is pretty much perfect

Granted it is not the fastest car but the Fiat 500 is a beauty, it is sculpted and it is quite rare so why go fast when you go around in your Fiat and people will look at it. It is just fantastic to look at and it is quite cheap to run as people will want to own one and it has great fuel consumption. Inside it looks way cooler than the Panda but that said it does speed up like a panda and to be honest that is not exactly Formula One car speed, but inside it looks rather posh and more expensive than other Fiats. This is a car that will probably be driven by businessmen…in expensive suits…and ties! Which I suspect will be property and insurance agents. There are some downs to this beautiful car though, like for example, the ride, because if you are quite tall you will be quite near to the roof which means if you go over a speed bump you will smash your head on it. It is also very cramped at the back seats which will cause your passengers to have an uncomfortable ride…if your passengers are tall as well…you get the idea, also to get the back is a pain. Overall though it will be a car that many people will want and I do hope that this car is continuously produced because it is just stunning to look at.

Wreck of the day

Proton Savvy
Engine: Renault D4F SOHC
0-62mph: 12.6 sec
Price (SG): $47,999
Price (UK): £6,970 – £7,670
Top Speed: 99mph
Cool Meter: -30%
Practicality: 20%

This will remind you why other small cars are great

Other than the name Proton Savvy which is quite frankly enough to put anyone off because you don’t go into a party and say you drive a Proton Savvy…because that will get you kicked out and you should not be seen driving one as it looks like the designer died half way and they got a 4 year old to design the windows with that stupid groove. Also the 99mph is really quite a claim because you have to be deaf in both ears to even think about trying to reach that speed as the sound from the engine will probably kill you for doing so…and as you are just about to hit 90 you realize you are out of petrol as well as having overshoot your destination. The gears jerk way too much in this car as well, change up, a jerk and it goes on and on…because frankly you don’t want to hit your head anymore if you actually bought one. The interior of the car looks so cheap and even by Proton’s standards that is a really poor made car. THe only passable thing the Savvy has is the 5 doors and enough room for little children at the back (if you don’t value their lives) and it has a decent boot, other than that, it is not worth the $47,999 you are paying for because after 2-3 years you will want to sell it and you will barely get $6,000 for it. With that money you are better off with a used BMW, if fact…GET A USED BMW.

Recap:
ERP will cause more jams in minor roads
COE is a stupid idea, whoever came up with it (hint) should be killed
Fiat 500 is overpriced in Singapore like every other car
If you buy a Proton Savvy, you are a cock and need to get your head checked

dictatorship at its finest?

Electronic Road Pricing, yeah…we know it was going to come, it is the sort of thing that the government does so that it can…well use absorb on our wallets, I mean, it is effectively just like paying congestion charge to go through an area, but lets face it, this being Singapore, you can get anywhere by taking a 5 min detour. NOW imagine if 500 people decided to take the same detour at the same time, you will end up with squeezes in another smaller road and so you are just going to have a massive hate for these machines…and the government wonders why we don’t like them. It is not like they do not know what the first rule of most Singaporeans are: as long as I don’t pay, its all good and honestly I would rather pay for more petrol than go past that huge gantry and paying…whatever the price is now (always increasing). Don’t fret though! The LTA (Land transport A******s) have a solution! They hope that the North-East MRT line would help provide an alternative form of transport for north-eastern residents, who usually use the CTE to reach the city, but here is the thing…if I have a bloody car…why the bloody hell would I get into public transport during peak hours, squeeze with random strangers, possible contracting bird flu and getting killed?  It is like asking you “What’s missing in your life?” and your reply would be “a foul smelled stranger standing near me”…right…they also have the knack for “chasing jams” and you will end up with an entire country with an ERP gantry at every junction! Maybe that is their final goal…it is a very simple concept, they put a gantry up on a major road, cars move away from major roads to find alternatives, with alternatives, jams are caused, government sees these jams and go place another gantry there. A fine example would be the ERP gantry on the East Coast Parkway’s west-bound carriageway was said to have led to increased traffic on Geylang Road and Nicoll Highway, and another 2 gantries were placed in those 2 areas as well, bring the total from 1 to 3…and it means it will leech money faster.

My childhood dream

Anyway, away from the dictator I want to talk about attributes of cars that I find wonderful, first of all it is the standard 4.2l V8 engines, the sound they make are like a melody that goes into your ears and it just doesn’t get out. The V8 has that…sort of aggressive yet charming sound to it that makes you go “I want that in my life!” and I think everyone should get the opportunity to experience that. Lets face it, as a kid you are either into porn, cartoons or cars, I grew up into cars and my first love was the Lamborghini Countach, although when I grew up they were no longer in production. The 25th anniversary Countach with the 5.2l V12 was one of the sights to behold. Now though if you ask me would I like a Countach I would say ‘No’ because as a kid you don’t care about many things, ride comfort, practicality…steering and so on, it was just a matter of if the car looked cool and the Countach looked cool to me. It kinda stuck me as the futuristic car that I want. I was one of the weirder kids in school, kids were wondering what time they could go home I was there looking at what cars go by. Though now i have a new love and if you ask me if I want this car or not, I would say a reassuring ‘yes’.

Something that captured me the first time I saw it

It is the Audi R8…and I’ll be honest I have not seen it being declared anywhere, I only saw it at 2007 when I was doing a small advert on Audi cars and searched it, only then did I see this marvelous looking car (ok it is not all THAT good looking) but neither was the Countach at its days, now the R8 has stuff to deal with like the Pagani Zonda, the Lamborghini Gallardo, the Aston Martin DB9 and the Porsche 911, they are all stunning cars to behold but they there is this strange pull to the Audi that just mystifies me, whats more that is the cost of the R8 which in Singapore would be around$450,000 (!) which is at least 2 times less than the Lamborghini Gallardo, its sister, and with a 0-62 under 4 seconds it is one of the faster cars in the world at the moment, which I admire in  a car. Although in my previous post you would remember the Nissan GT-R and I find similarities in the two cars, both are cheap for their range and have better looking rivals, but there seem to be some allure pull that seems to just drag you towards them.

Car of the day

Suzuki Swift
Engine: 1.5L straight-4
0-62mph: just around 10sec
Price (UK): $53,500 – $59,500
Price (UK): £8,199 – £11,598
Top Speed: 109mph
Cool Meter: 40%
Practicality: 70%

It is a normal car...a good one

Ah yes the car Singapore is absolutely flooded with, and why not? It is a decent car with the 101hp and it does not drink petrol like as if you have a broken flush in your toilet. This is the car that people like and I like it for its…strange simplicity. It is also quite a likable car and it has every reason to be, it is practical, it is not too big and quite cheap. It does look really good as well compared to other cars of its range like the Chevrolet Aveo. Although it is not without fault…the boot is hideously small and if you quite tall then this might not be the car for you as your foot will be on year head and there is the interior which is…quite dull to be honest and plastic-ish. Overall it is a good car if you just want to get to point A to point B without hassle and it it is quite reliable and for that I would have one.

Wreck of the day
Perodua Kenari
Engine: 1.0L DOHC
0-62mph: very long
Price (SG): $42,999 – $44,999
Price (UK): £5,730 – £6,530
Top Speed: Very slow…no like REALLY slow
Cool Meter: -80%
Practicality: 5%

It is like having someone rip your hair out...one strand at a time

First of all the peddles on this car, they are so near to each other it is like saying “please step on your own feet” and this thing has no air bags so if you have a hard accident you will be killed. It handles like a turtle as well, there really is not much about this car that anyone could see that will make them mad enough to buy it, but we live in a world full of mad people and this is a car that they would buy. You would imagine going into the dealership and saying “I would like a Perodua, but I don’t want a fast one, or a safe one, or a perticularly attractive one for the matter.” The air con is also strange, it is not that strong (we live in a humid world, strong air con is a must) and it blows this really strange smell in. The good thing about this car is that it has enough space for an entire family but if you have children I suggest you keep them away from this car, it is so repulsive to see it will literally make them cry.

Recap:
ERP: dictator tool of control and extortion
Lamborghini Countach: A joy to behold
Audi R8: A fighter against the competition
Suzuki Swift: Good car for normal people
Perodua Kenari: a car that deserves to be killed